"A Large Popcorn, Please!"

Michael Jackson, Bob Marley, Gypsy Kings, Metallica, Guns N’ Roses, Nickelback, Reba, Tim McGraw, Booba, 2Pac, The Beatles, Kiss, Bollywood music, boy bands, and the list goes on... we gravitate toward certain music based on our mood. When I am having a not so great day I listen to some Bob Marley, because every little thing is gonna be alright or some Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. When I’m in a bit of a dancing mood, I turn on some Soca music, Afro pop, French R&B, Bhangra. It’s not just music, all types of media have an effect on how we perceive the world around us. Ever wonder how after watching a horror film, you jump at every little sound, and can’t sleep? Or how comedies leave you in a good mood. This is just a short term effect, but have you wondered how it may affect you in the long run? When I was in college, like every good college student, I was binge watching the internet (yes.. The entire internet… it never seems to end...jk), in my case it was Xena: The Warrior Princes. I found that the more I watched it, the more I wanted to break a table! Once I stepped away from the show I lost that urge (which is a good thing … I may have broken a body part before I managed to break a table). This is when I knew that my world view has been influenced by the media I consume. Music, movies, TV shows and other forms of media affect how we view the world. Half of the time we don’t even realize what impact it has had on our lives.

When I was younger, every weekend my father would take us to the local Indian shop to rent a Bollywood movie for the weekend. If you’ve ever seen a Bollywood film from back in the day, you would know they were all about the forbidden love, love-triangles, and more love … did I mention LOVE? (Ever wonder how India became the second most populated country… wonder no more! ...jk … but maybe I’m on to something here.) In addition to each movie there was also soundtracks to go along with it… and you guessed it … LOVE songs! After watching the movie, 9 times outta 10, I used to purchase (and I am about to date myself here...) the cassette tape. These songs were a direct reflection of the plot of the film, and the more I listened to such music, I subconsciously internalized the message. Whether the song be about playing hard to get, or the damsel waiting to be saved, all these messages got internalized.

The messages I internalized were dated ideas like, the guy must always pursue the girl through grand gestures and a cool little song and dance number. However, for the past few years, I would cringe whenever the thought of watching a Bollywood or Punjabi film came up. This was the beginning of me rejecting these ideas and wanting to created a new belief system. I no longer wanted to wait for someone to save me, and why is showing love and affection such a bad thing? Recently, I started to listen to some of the oldies I used to love, and I did not hear the songs as I used to. The once loved lyrics, caused my head to bend and shake in utter embarrassment that I STILL knew all of the lyrics ... Over the years I have changed my perspective and now the message those songs send no longer feed my soul. I am not looking to be saved because I know that I have the power to save myself. I challenged the conditioning that I had undergone, and when I revisited the music I found that it did not have the same effect on me.

Through writing this, I have come to a realization, love became a forbidden element in my life. I didn’t know how to show affection, nor did I know how to receive it. OMG!!! I’ve been on this planet for how long…. and I didn’t figure this out until now? I wonder how different my past would have been if it wasn’t for all of the Bollywood films I consumed in my youth! I guess I will never know ... This innocent little pastime activity I used to do with my family, turned out to have quite a significant effect on my life, and I am seeing the effects of it now. After realizing this I went back and revisited my relationships, past and present… relationships of all kinds… especially the relationship I had built with myself.. I learned that I was acting in these relationships through the lens of Bollywood films.

As I got older, I shifted from Bollywood to Punjabi music. Most Punjabi music is about consuming alcohol, and about pretty women … sometimes even both… great to dance to though. However, what message are we getting from here? For me, it reinforces gender roles and gender stereotypes (even the songs by female artist). A few songs that come to mind are where the female singer is asking to be saved by someone else, these such songs tell us women folk that we need some external force … in this case, a man … to come and save us. Why aren’t we women taught to save ourselves? Why aren't we even exposed to the possibility? Ladies, what are we scared of? Better question, what are THEY scared of? The feminist within me was not having it. Another such type of songs are the ones where the male singers talk about their ideal woman. These songs set unrealistic expectations for the young women who listen to them. For example, having white skin, blue eyes, slim waist, long hair ….. Does she have to talk to animals too? I get it, they want SNOW WHITE!!!!!

When it comes to my choice of music now days, I listen to music that feeds my soul, that’s the India Arie, the Raja Kumari, the Saint Soldier, the Humble the Poet, just to name a few…. This is music that leaves me feeling positive and reinforces what I know to be true about myself … my limitless potential… not about forbidden love or outward beauty. Music that connects me to the universe and the world around me. Lyrics that move my soul into a space that’s greater than myself. So the next time you become addicted to a song or start to binge watch a TV show, ask yourself what message are you getting from it, and how does it make you feel. What conditioning, if any, is it feeding? Is that who you want to become? The things we surround ourselves with, become us…