ShapeShifters

Hey Everyone!

 

My name is Purvinder. I am a stay at home mom of two. I graduated from Sonoma State University with a B.A. and an M.A. in Psychology. If you know anything about Sonoma State, you know very well that there is very little diversity on that campus. At the age of 17, I made the choice to attend SSU, not fully knowing what I had signed up for. When I went with my dad to the freshmen orientation I felt my anxiety levels rising to the peak. I grew up in an area with a large population of African Americans, in the sea of new students I saw 2 African Americans in a huge auditorium of white people. That was a great WTF culture shock for me.

 

I have often found myself curious of other cultures, starting from a very young age. I used to go to the Richmond Public Library and check out books on culture and civilizations from around the world. One thing that this curiosity has taught me is that we, as people, have so much in common. That is a fact that remains true across the board, no matter your cultural background. It has always saddened me that people can often times use these minor differences to dislike one another. Then there are people within each culture being put down for how they look or what they do as a living. If we have such differences within the culture, how do we expect to see people outside of what we know?

 

I grew up with the familiarity of the Indian culture (since my parents immigrated from there in the 70s), but there many people outside of my culture that have confirmed that dark skin is seen as an undesirable trait. A person of light skin is a sign of beauty. A relative of mine recently said to me, “I was praying (when she was pregnant with twins, one boy and one girl) to God that please please make sure my daughter doesn't come out dark.” I was shocked those words came out of her mouth. I pointed out to her that dark skinned people have feelings and are human like us too, then I decided to walk away. I have to admit this conversation made me quite uncomfortable and I did not know what else to say, so I left it alone. In hindsight I wish I had asked her why she thought that! I wonder if she would have had an answer for me.

 

9 years ago I went to India for the second time. I was newly married and it was my first time staying in a village in my ancestral region of Punjab. I knew about the caste system in theory only, but seeing it in practice was a total shock. People in the village would pile up their dirty dishes for the woman who would come once a day to wash them, and another woman would come to do the sweeping and mopping. The people we were staying with would just drop their trash on the floor instead of using a trash can for the woman to clean up after them. These jobs, as well as cleaning the toilets are saved for the lowly caste, the untouchables. In seeing how the lower caste was being treated I was disheartened, and could not believe that these people were being treated as though they were less than human. They too have feelings and I am sure they do not walk to be cleaning other people’s sh*t off the toilet or picking up trash 24 hours a day, or having to wash dishes all day everyday. They did not choose to be born into this social system.

 

As I thought more about it, I asked myself, what am I going it do about it? I kept encountering interesting instances where I found myself figuring out who I am, and sometimes questioning my own identity. How much of this is from outside influence and how much of it is me questioning it. What part of me is really me and what part is because others saw me that way? Why do we have to fit into a mold… someone's idea of us? Through this blog, I hope to open a dialogue where we can share and celebrate our uniqueness and at the same time explore our major commonality, being “human.”

 

Your ShapeShifter

         Purvinder~