OMG You Too?

Jesus saves you. Buddha enlightens you. The Prophet will bring you peace. The waters of the Ganges cleanses your soul. No matter what religion you choose to follow, I think it is safe to say that the same basic principle is salient in all teachings. The concept that I am thinking of is known as the “Golden Rule.” The Golden Rule, or whatever you want to call it, is usually credited to Confucius. The concept was first recorded under his teachings, but there is evidence for it being around much longer. The rule states that one should treat others as they wish to be treated. All religions teach basic human kindness and compassion for others, and the concept of good Vs. evil. The Universal teaching goes beyond the Golden Rule, many of the things we learn are universal and are common sense when it comes to the human condition. When making choices we make sure that we are making the best choice.The “best” choice is is determined by learning what is right and wrong. Our morals are determined by our religion and upbringing. We have all been taught how to view things such as cheating, robbery, and murder (just to name a few things). No matter who you speak to these actions are frowned upon. We all have the basic foundations when it comes to morals and how one should conduct ourselves in the world.

A few years back, I was going through training for a new job, and on my lunch break I was having a conversation with the woman who was training me. She and I began to talk about our cultural backgrounds, upbringing and religion. Speaking to this woman on my lunch break was an amazing experience, and we both took this as an opportunity to learn about something that was foreign to us. Most of the conversation consisted of many “me toos.” If you were an outsider looking in you would not have known that we had so much in common. She pointed out that there are universal beliefs that every single person has, no matter what their background is. She then recited some of the commandments, “You shall not steal,” “you shall not murder,” “you shall not commit adultery.” What parent would teach their child to do any of those things? Those concepts are not only unique to the Christian tradition, it is universal to frown upon these things. People of different religion are busy fearing the Gods of others that they do not take the time to see that at the core all religions are the same. I was raised to believe that God is one, we just give that same God different names, but we are all talking about the same being.

Looking back at this I find that the fact that this conversation even took place odd because this is not something you talk to people about, especially when you first meet them. However, the conversation felt natural. Why was it that I thought this conversation was odd? Because for whatever reason in our culture we are taught to fear the person who is different from us. I admit that whenever I speak to someone and the topic of religion comes up, I become very cautious and do not to bring in the word “God,” for fear that I may offend the other person. There has always been controversy with the phrase “under God” in the United states Pledge of Allegiance. In 1953 President Eisenhower and Congress added the phrase, and many people felt that it implied that the United states was a Christian nation and they wanted to be sure that the separation of church and state was maintained. Since when is “God” a Christian term? I do realize that not everyone believes in the concept of God, and adding the phrase maybe an issue for some folks. The fear that people had was that the nation would be called a “Christian nation.” Why was it that people assumed that Christians are the only ones with this concept of “God”?

As a teenager, I quickly learned that my curiosity for other people’s beliefs was seen as a negative thing. When I was in high school I was in an outreach program for first generation students called Upward Bound. During the summer we would live in the dorms on the UC Berkeley campus and take classes. One summer my roommate was a girl from Oakland. I felt very comfortable with her, because she reminded me of one of my childhood best friends. I remember one evening she was listening to the radio and a song that she liked came on so she turned it up. I don’t remember what the song was, but I do remember that It was one that made made me wonder, “Why is this even a song?” I then innocently asked her why she liked the song so much. I don’t remember what happened afterward, but she was not receptive to my questions. I didn’t think anything of it but a few days later, one of the counselors came up to me and asked me what was going on with my roommate. I was in shock… what WAS going on with her? Through conversations with other counselors, rumor had spread that I was a bully. I guess that my roommate felt that I was attacking her when really all I was doing was trying to understand the popularity of that song. Could you imagine what the outcome would have been if I had asked her something about her religion? I decided to do nothing to change the situation. If she felt that I was bullying her, she should have said something to me to clear the air. We spent 6 long weeks sharing a room, and I spent the 6 weeks dealing with the fact that everyone thought I was a bully. Twas a long 6 weeks.

As a result of this experience I retreated in my ignorance. I stopped asking questions for fear of coming off as being rude or even a bully. We should encourage folks to ask questions. I personally enjoy when people ask me questions about my cultural background. It feels good when someone shows interest in me. This experience showed me that not everyone is open-minded, and not everyone is willing to talk about their upbringing. Not everything is a personal attack, sometimes folks just wanna know and learn, is that so wrong? In college I learned that if I wanted to know something, I had to seek my knowledge in other resources such as books, internet and media. There are however, a few people to whom I can talk to openly and ask all the questions I want, but those numbers are few. It is important to encourage others to step out of their comfort zones and step into something that is new.

Recently my family and I did just that, we stepped out of our comfort zone and we attended a wedding of a different faith. This wedding was not Punjabi-Sikh wedding like my family and I have been to so many times before, but it was in fact an Indo-Fiji-Muslim wedding. I was very excited to go. I had an idea of what to expect from movies and book, but I never witnessed a Muslim wedding. Once the wedding was over and the Imam was getting ready to leave, my 3 year old nephew, who was sitting next to me, said the he wanted to sit next to “Babba ji.” “Babba ji” is a term we use in Punjabi to refer to an elder male out of respect. My mother then took my nephew to meet the Imam, and my nephew’s face just lit up because this elder took the time to say hello to him. In that moment, there was no Muslim and Sikh differences, it was one soul meeting another soul. I learned something huge from my 3 year old nephew that day; we do not need to dwell on the differences, it's about our commonalities and how we can connect on a basic human level. As we get older these differences become more salient to us, but to my nephew everyone with their head bowed is praying to God and to him it does not matter what we call that God.

It is important to understand the differences in our beliefs, however we should never lose sight of the bigger picture. Being able to have a friendly conversation with a stranger about a heavy and controversial topic, such as religion, shows a level of respect and maturity. Often times we put up our defenses when people talk about something so near and dear to our hearts. Perhaps the song my roommate was listening to was something that everyone around her loved. It was embedded in her culture, so when I asked her about it, I was seen as being a bully because I was attacking her culture. Helping others understand the world you come from will bridge the gap and make the world we live in a more friendly place. Religion’s basic purpose is to give us comfort in the unknown and to create a sense of community. If religious extremist tried to find the commonalities between us perhaps there will be less religious killings. You do not have to agree with what everyone says, but at a basic level we are all human, made up of stardust, all trying to figure out this thing we have named “Life.”