When I Grow up, I Wanna be a Virgin Sacrifice!

“You’re a slut!” In the 21st century many people are still concerned with whether or not a woman has been with a man prior to marriage, and if she has then the question becomes, how many men? This topic has recently captured my attention when I was asked this question and realized that people still care about this! And of course I had to go and overthink things as usual! Lucky, you get to read about my thoughts. There are outside pressures that we all have to deal with. It is not only women who have to deal with comments from society, men have to hear it as well, the difference is how the act is viewed. No matter what I’ve uncovered, it does not change who a person is, whether or not someone is a virgin does not change the content of their character.

Let's start with the word “virgin,” what does it even mean? Where does the word even come from? Upon asking my friend, Google, I found that “virgin” is defined as “a person who has never had sexual intercourse.” Now… I did not want to stop there, I then looked up the etymology of the word and found that the word was derived from the Latin word “Virgo” that simply meant “young girl.” I am not entirely sure when this word became sexualized. For most of my life, I have always been uncomfortable and shy by this term. When I got to university, I decided to pursue a degree in Anthropology. Just in case you didn't know ancient people were obsessed with male and female parts, it’s in their art and religion just to mention a few. As a result of learning about this on a daily basis, I had to quickly become comfortable with everything related.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Culture and religion have always had a huge influence on how people view certain things. Sexuality is the foundation of humanity, without sex we wouldn’t be here. In many polytheistic cultures, there are male and female consort and they have children. The way these children come to be is not always in the conventional way, but they are begotten in some way. The oldest religion that is still in practice today is known as Hinduism (it is also the religion that has the sex book, the Kama Sutra). If any of you have seen you will have heard the word Shivling or in the movie Shivalinga. This little rounded rock is actually an erect phallic symbol which sits in the center of a yoni, which represents the woman’s anatomy. There you have it… people worship an erect penis in the center of a vagina folks!! … Ancient people had an interesting take on things, but having children (sex) was important to ensuring that traditions would survive. Hindus are not alone, I think that you’ll find some Native American stories interesting. I took a class that was all about the ancient Maya, and … omg where to begin? There was an image in my textbook which depicted Mother Earth being fertilized by Father sky. Now this makes total sense because our food comes from Earth with the aid of the sky. However, when you look closely at the picture, it is not rain that is fertilizing the crops but instead, small penises falling from the sky.

So where does all of this virginity stuff come from? Not sure exactly. However, I do recall learning about some Christian traditions where on the wedding night, select few people would ensure that that bride and groom had sex. Someone also looked for evidence to make sure the hymen was broken, meaning the woman was a virgin on her wedding night. This is a value that many people, not only Christians, still have and is still a hot topic today. Remaining “pure” for your husband is a huge part of our culture, however, it is not the norm. This aspect of culture has created the pressure for many women to stay a virgin until their marriage. There have been many women who have use this to their advantage and sell their virginity to the highest bidder. There was one woman who decided to do this as a social experiment, she received a lot of media attention for this. I would also like to point out that her virginity was up for bid, NOT her hand in marriage. I also recall reading a news article about a woman whose family was struggling and felt this was the fastest way her family could get the money to illuminate their problems. The Highest bid she got for her virginity was $3.4 million… I guess we CAN put a price on virginity.

I have not even begun to talk about the pressure boys face when it comes to this topic. They have the opposite pressure. They have the pressure to sleep with as many women as they can, if they don’t something must be wrong with them. A friend of mine even lied about how old he was because he felt the pressure from his peers. He also said he wished that he had waited for the right woman and not for his peer group. When boys are faced with this decisions they do not have to worry about being called a “slut,” instead they are praised and called a “player.” The word “slut,” is a very negative word and is often used as an insult and her promiscuity is socially inappropriate. Whereas, the word “player,” is a positive term and is often used as a greeting between friends and a male’s sexual identity is socially desired. It is a double standard. I can’t speak too much on this topic as I have spent my entire life as a woman, but I know that each gender has their own set of struggles with the topic. Society puts ideas in our heads that lead us to believe that the decisions we have made are right or wrong.

In all my years on the planet, Earth, I have learned that we are not defined by the things that we have done, but by who we are in the present moment. Who are we to judge what someone has done? Who are we to pass judgement on how someone dresses? If you choose to be more promiscuous or more sexually reserved, you have that right, and it’s not for anyone else to decide. Everyone has the right to choose when to loose their virginity. Why are we as a society so captivated by the subject? In this day and age it is a personal choice, if you decide that it is what you want to do, then do it. As long as you're safe, no one else should make that decision for you. Just because someone else made a different choice than you, doesn’t make them any more or less human.