WOW!!!!! You Look Super... Deathly Ill!

Those of you who know me, have seen my physical transformation over the course of this past year. About a year ago, I discovered how important health is and as a result of me getting healthy, I have dropped 80 pounds! Thank you, thank you! No need to applaud :) … seriously stop it! … Why’d you stop? :D Along with all of the weight loss, there also comes other people’s opinions. Just to be clear I never felt like I needed to lose weight, but I knew that I needed to make some health changes in my life, and weight loss was just a pleasant side effect. I believe that everyone should love the skin that they’re in. Ok, back to the point, once I lost all the weight I had to deal with all sorts of people telling me what they thought about it. I found it very interesting that people of different cultures had very different opinions. After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

For those of you who do not know, I am of Indian descent and the elder women do not have any problems telling me what they think. I often heard, “you don't need to lose any more weight!” or “Stop losing weight now!” My few favorites, are “You should put on a few pounds,” and “You are so weak now.” Often times I don't even know these women well. I am always taken aback by these comments, so I just smile and say, “ok.” There are so many thoughts that float through my head. I cannot fathom how these women think I would welcome what they were saying with open arms. I have put in hard work and for someone to tell me to gain weight or that I am now “weak” is completely unnecessary. Today, I can run about 4 miles per jog, do push ups, do pull ups, do sit ups… a year ago when I wasn’t “weak,” I couldn’t do any of that. What about my outward appearance yells that I am WEAK?

Just a few days ago, I had a conversation with a close relative about the idea that skinny means “weak” in the Indian culture. The conversation went in circles because there was not a clear cut answer. When I was 80 pounds heavier I never heard anyone tell me I was weak, even though I truly was. However, now that I am in the best shape of my life I hear this word to describe me often. Why is it that in the Indian culture we are considered healthier the bigger we are? Then we question why obesity and various health issues are on the rise. I think it's time to redefine the status quo.

We live in a society where people are obsessed with their outward appearance, these women did not stop to consider how their comments may affect me. They did not stop to consider what struggles I have had with my body image and how or why I did it. For a split second, I did stop and consider if I, in fact, had become “too skinny.” Then I realized that no one’s opinion matters, it was about my health and KEEPING myself healthy. Only my opinion matters!

Just a few days after I had my realization, an elderly white woman complimented me on looking good, healthy and fit. I couldn’t help but to smile, not because of the complement, but because she put a lot of things into perspective for me. Firstly, this was the Universe telling me not to let compliments go to my head and not let criticisms go to my heart. Secondly, these were just words … someone else’s outlook. I almost wanted to share what I am used to hearing from the Indian community, but I decided to keep it to myself. I instead smiled, and thanked her for her kind words. Similarly she did not know what I had been through when it came to my body image and how hard I worked. As I stepped back I took the time to contemplate why these point of views were polar opposites. Their opinions are a reflection of their environment and their outlook on the world.

In the western world, it is desired to be thin and fit, whereas in the subcontinent of India it is desired to be curvaceous. Do not take my word for it, take a look at ancient peoples’ art. Ancient Greek statues are usually depicted as being lean and athletic, from this we can conclude that this is what was desired. On the other end, in the Ancient Indian world, statues are curvaceous and decorated with elaborate jewels. We can even see the differences in modern times as well. Classical dancers ….Ballet, in the western world compared to Kathak and Bharatnatyam (and many more) from the South Asian subcontinent… the image of each is very different from one another. In Ballet it is more desirable to be thin and light so that you are able to dance on your toes, whereas, the Indian dancers are celebrated for their curves and facial expressions. Dance is a cultural expression, and it is considered beautiful to those who hold it in high esteem. Because we are exposed to cultural conditioning, it is clear that the women who spoke to me about my appearance, were speaking from a lifetime of being conditioned.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I am the last person to shut someone down for expressing that opinion, however, when you are aware that your point of view is not too kind then perhaps that opinion is best left unexpressed. Body image and having confidence in one’s appearance is something that everyone struggles with, or has struggled with in the past. We already tell ourselves harsh things, we do not need others to tell us as well. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. All of those shapes, and sizes deserve to be celebrated and loved no matter what. So... the next time you feel compelled to tell someone what you think about their appearance I hope you'll remember reading this and ask yourself, “it is kind?”